Thank You, Electric Guitar Distortion!

Dear Electric Guitar Distortion,

Oh, how I do so love thee!

I am writing to belatedly thank you, Electric Guitar Distortion (EGD), for all of the many years you’ve been there for me.

There are very few things that I’ve experienced in my 48 years that have been as dependable as you, EGD. It seems that whatever might be going on for me — trials, tribulations, joys and ecstasies, hard work or hijinx — you’ve provided the perfect soundtrack.

While the untrained or stodgy ear might cringe upon hearing you, I feel sorry for them, for they may never come to know just how versatile you are, EGD. They may never appreciate how you can be, by turns, intense and angry, boisterous and triumphant, sweet and soaring.

Some, for instance, might call you ugly, EGD. But I know better, for I’ve been in the bars and the giant stadiums, where you were just about the only thing that could rise above the din of the crowd, and rise you did, in crescendos of the most beautiful noise, from piercing solos to power chords, a symphony of sound from one guitar, one distortion pedal, and one amplifier.

And oh the many feelings you seem to fit right in with, from righteous indignation and rage, to love and heartache, from mourning to celebration.

So, thank you, thank you, thank you, Electric Guitar Distortion! In your honor, I now present a small sample of your greatness, as I proceed to begin my work week.

Cheers!

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