Lego Personality Retardation Disorder

I’m very close to submitting a suggestion for a new mental illness diagnosis to the American Psychiatric Association, for inclusion in the next edition of their industry standard, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Lego Personality Retardation Disorder (LPRD), is a condition wherein otherwise mature, responsible, adult humans have had a portion of their personality development retarded by having been exposed to Legos at a very early age.

LPRD is very, very real, make no mistake about it. I’d even say it’s an epidemic.

I mean, if I had a (enter large denomination of currency here) for every time I came across something on the interwebs about how someone decided to build a version of an ordinary object using Legos, well, as the saying goes, I’d be a wealthy man.

Alas, those payments haven’t made their way to my mailbox or PayPal account, and so I’m forced to simply complain about it here on my blog.

Take today’s discovery, via Inhabitat.

Get it? It’s a kitchen island! But, the homeowners, instead of using wood or granite or any other reasonable building material used Legos!

See! It’s cool! It’s funny! It’s creative!

No, actually, it’s a mental disorder that needs to be treated!

Listen, I’m all for staying young at heart. I truly believe that adults don’t play enough. But, at some point, to paraphrase 1 Corinthians 13:11: When you’re a child you speak, think, and reason like a child, but when you grow up, it’s time to put away childish things Legos.

Honestly, this wouldn’t bother me so much if it weren’t for the ubiquity of it all. Here’s just a very short list:

And now, there’s even propaganda. If you can stomach it, watch how, in this clip, LPRD is premeditatedly spread to children, creating a veritable Lego Youth, if you will.

Shocking. I know.

LPRD must be stopped. Please spread the word.

4 thoughts on “Lego Personality Retardation Disorder

      1. Actually no. I would like to see scientific proof found by real scientists on how LEGO retards growth of the human brain.

        That’s because it doesn’t. Just like paints or clay or pencil/pen/charcoal, it is often used as an art medium for adults, while used as a constructive plaything for kids.

        There is nothing wrong with playing with LEGO. They are not made for a certain group, clan, posse or target age, but for any and everyone who wishes to buy the simple yet creative bricks and build whatever they want.

        At this point I can only hope that this article was intended to be satrical as it truely does not make sense to the logical mind. If it is not satrical but intended to be serious, then I can only pity the being who wrote it.

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