Fish & Bicycles Conquers The World!

I haven’t always had kind words for WordPress.com, my blog-hosting service.

Take April Fools Day 2011, for instance, when they thought it would be funny to alter users’ stats pages to look like we were getting ten times the traffic we were actually getting.

Not.Funny.

Anyway, today they’ve redeemed themselves, offering up a new feature on the very same stats page, a breakdown by country of where visitors to our sites come from. And, I’ve confirmed, it’s NOT April Fools Day.

Check this out!

The color scale, which indicates numbers of page views, isn’t very helpful at this point, because the map currently only shows data from the beginning of March 2012. Eventually, there will be a bigger variety of shades from yellow to red, but already I have a pretty clear picture of where my growth markets are.

Greenland! Greenland! Come in, Greenland!

And Iceland! Geez!

Listen, I get the irony that Iceland is a very green place and that Greenland is largely covered by ice, but could you please just set aside your confusion long enough to stop by Fish & Bicycles and say hello?

As for you, China. Well, I’m sorry that your authoritarian government won’t let you roam free on the internets, so I’ll give you a pass. However, if you do manage to break through the firewall, please know that you are most welcome here.

Now, Kazakhstan and Mongolia, well, you don’t really have an excuse, do you?

Moving Westward, it gets a bit dicey. Iran and Syria, your leaders and the extremists in your country are totally whack (so are ours, sometimes), but I know you long for freedom and I’d like to believe that you, like me, would much prefer peace to war. I pray that war will be averted, that you’ll give up wanting to wipe tiny little Israel off the map, and that we can eventually get down to some cultural exchange, right here at Fish & Bicycles.

Next, Africa, if only you knew how much I love you.

I’ve only had a brief personal interaction with you, during my 1996 visit to Egypt, which reminds me of what George Clooney’s character in O Brother, Where Art Thou said when he was offered some gopher, “A third of a gopher would only arouse my appetite without bedding her back down,” only the gopher, in this case, is you, Africa, and, unlike George Clooney, I accepted the small portion and have longed for more ever since.

Finally, there’s certainly more folks to reach in Central and South America, but it’s clear that the blame lies squarely with Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, and Chile. I don’t know how I managed to offend the entire west coast of my neighbor continent down under, but I did mention you, Bolivia, one time in a post way back in August 2010.

Are you really still pissed off about Butch and Sundance?

4 thoughts on “Fish & Bicycles Conquers The World!

  1. Oh my god, I so agree. Every page I’ve been on since, I’m damning for not doing it! Especially indiegogo. They tell you campaigns are more successful if people from multiple countries fund you, but you have no way of telling who’s seen your site. Yay wordpress, for today!

  2. I agree, the geographic info is great! I had 17 countries visit my posts last month; Greece not among them–though as a fellow ‘hamster, I understand why sunny places are attractive this time of year. Don’t understand what often attracts disparate readers, but I’m covering SE Asia pretty well, and I did get a hit from Chile…

    1. Hi there, former Mayor Dan! Thanks for your comment.

      Having just been in Colorado last weekend, where, in Boulder, it was 65 degrees and sunny on Monday, I can’t be blamed for longing for more sun. (Yet another tantalizing portion of gopher!)

      Maybe you’ll be more successful in western South America than I have been.

      Just don’t mention Butch & Sundance.

      In fact, don’t even mention Paul Newman and Robert Redford.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s